I have always been the one who prioritise mental health. I would make sure nothing can make me sad, I would protect myself at all costs, denying entry for anything that could disrupt my inner peace.
But I think I forgot to really ask myself, am I truly happy?
Feeling is a whole spectrum. You can be at any point within that spectrum and today (as I’m typing this) I stop and really think. Where in the spectrum do I land on?
With lockdown and being at home for whole three months now, I have forgotten how it feels to be really, genuinely happy. Can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard that I shed tears, or the last time I feel my heart expands with happiness.
Day feels mundane, stagnant & repetitive. Actually it does not feel repetitive, it is repetitive. Everything is so predictable and I have nothing to look forward to. The worst part is that, I have no idea when will this end.
I thought I am mentally strong to get through this. Well for the most part, I was. But I’m reaching my breaking point, and for the life of me, I’m hoping I can push it through. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s pitch black here.
I hope everyone is doing their very best to keep themselves sane and of course, safe. I never want to experience this ever again. Let it just be this once.
No comments:
Post a Comment